Living day to day with chronic illness is awesome. Just kidding. It freakin’ SUCKS. In fact, it is 100x worse than that. It hinders you from conquering your goals, achieving your dreams, WAIT. It actually hinders you from taking a shower and brushing your teeth. It is an awful little devil that creeps up on you when you least expect it to. “Oh, you’re feeling well today? You wanna get shit done? Well, I don’t think so, bitch! How about we stay in bed all day instead?!” Seriously, I would have two to three days of feeling ok, then it would hit me, seemingly out of nowhere, like a ton of concrete bricks. The unpredictability was no way to live.
Not only is it physically and emotionally painful, but it is super isolating on top of it. In fact, some of my friends just could not wrap their minds around what I was experiencing, hence, many times, they would just not invite me out at all. And I am guilty of isolating myself, too, because how many times am I going to cancel plans at the last minute or have to explain that, while I “look good,” I feel like absolute crap and my brain is mush to a bunch of people who have no clue what “invisible illness” is.
Living with chronic illness sucks in so many ways. You think you slept eight hours straight, yet you cannot get out of bed in the morning for shit. You’re utterly exhausted after lunch, but cannot fall asleep at night. You lie there, mind racing, body twitching, eyes wide open, hoping, dreaming, praying for it to just “go away.”
People who suffer with chronic illness are emotionally courageous and cognitively deep. After all, we get to spend lots of 1:1 time with our sensitive selves. It can be dreadful. But, I’ve come to learn, it is what we make of it. And the biggest takeaway I want you to have in this very moment is to be aware that you have a choice. You do have a choice. And you are worthy of living a purposeful pain free life. That conscious choice, along with a little hard work, and you’ll be ready to live your most kickass life for sure.